Question by Brownie12866: Joke…Weight Loss Program?
A fellow is ordered by his doctor to lose a minimum of 75 pounds because of the serious health risks involved with being so overweight. Baffled as to how on earth he was ever going to be able to accomplish this, he runs across an ad in the newspaper for a ‘Guaranteed Weight Loss Program’.

Skeptical, but desperate, he calls them and subscribes to the 3 day/10 lb weight loss program.

The next day there’s a knock on his door and when he answers it, standing before him is a a voluptuous, athletic, beautiful, 20 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes, and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign around her neck reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me!” Without giving it a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they finish, she leaves and he thinks to himself, “I really like the way this company does business!” For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens. On the fouth day, he weighs himself and is thrilled to find he has lost 10 lbs as promised.

So, he calls the company and subscribes to their 5 day/20 lb program. As expected, the following day there’s a knock on his door and there stands the most gorgeous, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me, you can have me!” He’s out the door after her in a flash.

This gal is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it’s worth every cramp and wheeze. She is, by far, the best he has ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and, much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds he’s lost another 20 lbs as promised!!

Deciding to go for broke, he calls the company and subscribes to their 7 day/50 lb program! “Are you sure, sir?” the company representative asks. “This is our most rigorous program!”

“I’m positive,” he replies. “I haven’t felt this good in years!”

The next day there’s a knock on his door and when he answers it, standing before him is Richard Simmons wearing nothing but a pair of pink racing spikes, and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, I can have you!”

Best answer:

Answer by Doll 101
Omg!!! That is freaking hilarious!! I literally LOL!!! Loved it!! Hey, send Simmons my way, I need to lose 10 lbs.!!! LOL!!!

What do you think? Answer below!

Article by Maliam Mckinney

Are you interested in losing weight? Whether you want to improve your appearance, or do both, you could be inquisitive about finding a weight loss plan to use. When it comes to dieting plans, you will find that you’ve got a number of different options. Two of your most common options include paying for a weight loss plan or developing your own.If this is your first time attempting to “seriously,” shed weight, you could be wondering whether you should develop your own weight loss plan, also commonly referred to as a weight loss program, or pay for one. One of the best ways to establish which weight loss plan you need to use is to examine the pros and bad points of each. Some of the most influential advantages and downsides to developing your own weight loss plan, as well as paying for one are made public below.When it comes to paying for a weight loss plan or a weight loss program, you may find that you can do so hereabouts or on the web. Should you decide to join an internet weight loss program, you’ll probably have online meetings or consultations with trainers or other weight loss program members, either on a message board or thru emails. You need to also have access to healthful recipes and simple to do exercises.One of the various benefits to paying for a weight loss program or a weight loss plan is that you are usually given a professional plan. This often eliminates random test, as many have already learned what works and what does not work with weight loss.Although it guaranteed, many people find the most reasonable help in the shape of online weight loss programs or online diet programs. As for developing your own weight loss plan, there are a number of advantages to doing so. One of those advantages is that you can customize your weight loss plan and program to you. You can also customise your workouts to yourself. This is good if you are obese and unable to follow many workout videos, which seem like they are they are designed for those that already in “perfect,” shape.Another one of the numerous benefits to developing your own weight loss plan to follow is that it is fun to do. You also have a number of tools at your fingertips. There are a number of web sites and magazines that you can get weight loss information from; information that you that you may use to build your own weight loss plan to follow. Some individuals have asserted that making their own weight loss plan to follow makes them more happy about the method and more likely to see the plan all the way through.The above mentioned factors are just a few of the many that you may want to take into consideration, when making an attempt to determine whether you should create your own weight loss program or join a paid weight loss program. Many individuals have reported starting their own weight loss program and then later joining a paid one if they did not get the results that they were hoping for. For more information, go to http://weightmasteryguide.com”>Weight Mastery Guide for more weight loss tips..

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Question by butterfly: Loose weight feel great……. A joke?
A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself. “But lets see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, “I like the way this company does business.” For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weigh himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds.
Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” He’s out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days… For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds.
I love this company, he thinks to himself, “I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.” Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company’s 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. “Are you sure, sir?” Asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most vigorous program.” “Absolutely,” says he, “I love your program. Haven’t felt this good in years!”
The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If I can catch you, I can have you.”

Best answer:

Answer by animal_mother
Funny! Now…if only some naked hot man would show up at my door…lol.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

VISIT: Losing-Weight-Quickly.org Best Weight Loss Programs – Free Diet Plans and Weight Loss Programs Losing weight can be very challenging to some people, diets suck and at times seems like some of them does not seem to work. Many reasons have been accountable for why weight loss efforts have not work out in the past. The first of the common mistakes people do make is under eating or skipping meals. More to that not eating constantly makes your body feel that you don’t have food to eat. This situation causes the stomach to go into a survival mode. Because of the situation your body will start storing fat to use later on as energy aim at making up for the missed meals. In order to keep your body metabolism high, eat five to six small meals per day. It is also important to mention that you can’t just stop eating. Some people do not understand the reason why weight loss camps still encourage people to eat, however it is essential that your body gets all of the nutrients required. On the other hand instead of eating the junk food that you are used to these camps will teach you that healthy food can be as tasty. Eating smaller amounts throughout the day will give your body plenty of time to process the food. Most people still enjoy the habit of late night eating. When you eat at night you forget to note that eating just before going to bed always guarantees weight gain. This is because you are eating calories that are not going to be used; they are going to be store as fats …
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VISIT: StartBurningFatNow.Blogspot.com Best Weight Loss. Best Weight Loss Programs, Reviews of Diet Plans, Weight Loss Plans. What’s the best weight loss program? I Need to Lose Weight without Feeling Hungry “I need to lose weight but I’m sick of feeling hungry all the time,” is a common statement made by individuals who follow fly-by-night diets. If your diet leaves your stomach rumbling every hour on the hour, it’s time to make a change. I used to think that losing weight meant starving. It took me a while to accept the fact that I could actually eat heartily and still drop weight. The time I spent starving in the name of losing weight was miserable. When I did manage to shed a few pounds, I would gain it all back in a matter of weeks. Sometimes I’d even gain a few extra pounds. Talk about depressing! What I learned through years of research (and trial and error) is that when you follow a healthy eating plan, you can chow down until you’re full, and still see amazing weight loss results. What Are Healthy Foods? Healthy foods are not created in a factory of processed to death. If the food is dried, canned, frozen or filled with ingredients you can’t pronounce, stay away from it. Examples of healthy foods include fresh fish, naturally raised meats, legumes, seeds, organic poultry, organic whole eggs, raw nuts, and fresh fruit and vegetables. How to Make Healthy Meals More Filling There’s nothing more dismal than dealing with hunger pangs all day. If your meals aren’t …
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Question by Please Die: weight loss joke?
A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. He’s skeptical, but says to himself, “Let’s see what they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program.

The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, “I like the way this company does business.” For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he lost 10 pounds.

Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” He’s out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds.

I love this company, he thinks to himself, “I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.” Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company’s 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. “Are you sure, sir?” Asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most vigorous program.” “Absolutely,” he replies, “I love your program. Haven’t felt this good in years!”

The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If I can catch you, I can have you.”

Best answer:

Answer by wnba_supastar
omg HILARIOUS!!!did not c tht cumming!!!star 4 u!!!

Give your answer to this question below!

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Some cool best weight loss programs images:

Riverside Park/Hudson River stroll – 12 sepia


Image by Ed Yourdon
Note: this photo was published in an Oct 19, 2010 Best Weight Loss Programs blog, with the same title as the caption that I used on this Flickr page. It was also published in a Nov 25, 2010 Cool ‘Weight Loss’ Programs blog, with the same title and detailed notes as what I had written on this Flickr page. And it was published in an undated (late Dec 2010) blog titled "Q&A: Does anyone know any good weight loss programs that are good for diabetics?"

Moving into 2011, the photo was published in an undated (late Jan 2011) blog titled "Take the Lady of America Ab Crunch Challenge." It was also published in a Mar 4, 2011 blog titled Lose weight fast in 2 weeks?

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All kinds of people were sitting on benches along the river: young and old, skinny and fat, plain and pretty. I hardly know how to characterize this man, but I thought he was definitely worth a picture — as he gazed off into the distance (westwards) of the river and NJ skyline, contemplating the meaning of the universe and whatever innocence he may have lost back in the 60s.

He never did notice me, which I appreciated; I had only a medium-telephoto with me for this jaunt along the river, and I had to toss out some pictures where people DID notice me as I attemptd to take their picture. But this guy was lost in his own dreams, and that was fine…